It was the day of my partner’s funeral, he died by suicide and I found him.
I felt a sense of suffocation by the overwhelming amount of well wishes and questions at his wake, so I took myself for a walk to a nearby jetty, sat and spontaneously found myself screaming to the sky…
“WHY, WHY DID YOU GIVE US EMOTIONS?”
I had no idea that question would become the foundation of my life’s work.
The eruption of those words welled up from previous years of compounding suppression I had stored in my body.
The recurring cycles of physical disharmony and mental unease were no stranger.
Depression was my best friend, who then decided to invite a full-blown case of Post-Traumatic Stress to the party.
I had become numb from years of hard hits. Toxic relationships, family drama, financial struggle and what seemed to be a never-ending procession of people I loved passing over…
Both my brothers, finding my best girlfriend’s baby passed from cot death, numerous friends and then the grand finale…finding my mum–she had a heart attack in the spa bath.
I went into hibernation for six months as I waded through the dark night of my soul.
The words in my head that were on repeat, were the last words my mother spoke to me.
I went to visit her as it had been one of those hideous weeks.
With my hands in my head, I asked her…
“Mum…what do you have to do to cut a break on this planet?”
Her response..
“Shelly, there is always an answer.”
Those words touched me at the deepest part of my being.
There had to be a higher reason.
What was that answer?!
Insight started to emerge, to receive an answer a quality question must be asked.
“Show me the door home to my inner freedom?”
As I sat, and I sat and sat some more with my pain and confusion. Flickers of light began to shine on the path.
Then the epiphany hit me like a lighting bolt. I had been walking in the wrong direction. Away from the uncomfortable, instead of towards the feelings that were screaming to be heard.
I learnt my pain and confusion was a wise sage master trying to lead me to the gateway of freedom.
As I began to learn how to translate my human experience the looping cycles fell away, making room for new and abundant experiences to enter.
The aperture of the lens through which I had been perceiving my life expanded, opening me to a vista of infinite possibility and choice.
At that stage of my life, I had been an Acupuncturist for 12 years and had studied many modalities. I began to put the pieces of the life puzzle together to create a transformational process that freed me, and now, thousands of others to LIVE the life they were born to live.
A gift that just keeps on giving.
I am deeply honored to have the privilege and opportunity to now gift you with 25 years of my life work.
We were taught how to DO most things on this planet. The one thing we weren’t taught to do was master our human experience.
I love this story. It explains the complications of life’s challenges in such easy to understand terms.
Interestingly, I wonder if I had read this blog 5 years ago, would I have understood the implications. Maybe I would have understood some of it, but not all of it. It is therefore so amazing that those that we need to learn from are placed in our path for us to choose to follow or not.
Karma, fate….whatever anyone wants to call it, is real ?
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