What if “The 5 Languages of love” are enabling a trauma bond in your relationship?
We all have an unconscious and conscious recognition of love based on how we learnt to receive attention as a child.
Feeling like you’re not being loved because your “Language of love” is not being validated is an unconscious recognition creating a conditional exchange to fill a void of neediness vs a need.
“If you are not doing X, you don’t love me” and we miss the expressions and acts of love that are actually on offer.
A latchkey kid will fill their void by seeking QUALITY TIME in their relationship to validate they’re loved.
A little person who was neglected will see ACTS OF SERVICE as being supported.
Someone who never felt nurtured will see GIFTS as a way they are loved and appreciated. Equally, if love was bought, they too will have an attachment to receiving gifts as a sign I am being loved.
“Failure to thrive” syndrome comes from infants not receiving love or touch, of course as an adult PHYSICAL TOUCH will be the indicator I am loved and safe.
If harsh language or empathic communication was void in the informative years…you bet WORDS OF AFFIRMATION are going to be heard as I am loved and accepted.
When we transform generational trauma, these acts of love are given and received from a place of conscious love that no longer feels like obligation or a void filling exchange…they become the fertilizer that allows love to THRIVE. 
